A collection of hysterical, absurdist stories capped with two cruel little novellas.
WITH GRILLOUT SEASON UPON US, THESE EASY PEASY LOAVES AND FISHES HAVE MAJOR CROWD APPEAL
GORKO RETREAD! NO NOT REREAD, RETARD, RETREAD. BECAUSE SOME OF THE NEO-CLASSIC GORKO ARTICLES ARE OUR FAVORITES. ‘A SPORT YOU PLAY WITH YOUR FEET’ FIRST PUBLISHED 18 JUNE 2021 When you are rapping by the […]
Mister Banana Has An Epiphany
If Bodie Bob finishes high school, Mom is going to take us on a banana boat cruise.
2 poems by Michael Ceraolo
he thought pulling the alarm would
open doors rather than close them
‘New York City Mayor Ed Koch Will Work out the Details Later’ by Robert Fromberg
Mayor Gomez was attempting to nail to the wall the ass of New York City Mayor Ed Koch.
Who Wrote The Declaration of Independence?
Both declarations feature ‘John Hancock’ style signatures, Togo’s by Robinson Ayhi, and Sierra Leone’s by Mufti ‘Loopy Cursive’ Jallone.
‘Traveler’s Lament’ by Captain B
As the landscape changes, my senses are stimulated.
Something’s buzzing. The sun is good.
‘In the Changing Room’ by Antoine Bargel
GRANDMA, YOUR UNDIES ARE UGLY!
‘Maya’ by Mehreen Ahmed
She felt that the wheel did not move much; almost too slow for the world to be defined from the top there.
WHEN BROTHER ETHERNAN COMES UP JUST PRETEND THAT HE IS INVISIBLE
Yes, I believe I can hear the little devil that is pestering you, Brother Torthred!
MISTER CHATBOT’S NEIGHBORHOOD: HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK
HOW MUCH MEAT MIGHT A MEAT MAN EAT IF A MEAT MAN MEET MEAT MIGHT?
2 poems by Sreekanth Kopuri
strings nerve-knotted
to the spider’s net
glowing on the handy
screen that can make
love with us
Classic Gorko: We’re in the potato business
Hop On, Join The Crew
‘Blood Elves: For the Honour of Gladiswiel II’ review by Trixie McCarbre
It is a (thankfully) short film that follows the escapades of rugged, outcast hero – Swarth Drfenlorng, played by Alistair Ront of Twelve Days as a Sexually Frustrated Werewolf fame
‘Pinched’ and 3 others by Ken Kakareka
i have peat eyes.
‘Nine Iron’ by Charles Holdefer
Then Peter beheld a golf cart, rolling on top of the waves.
MISTER CHATBOT DOT COM WITH MISTER BANANA
What in carnation is a death pig?
REVOLUTIONARY FITNESS PROGRAM PITS HEALTH ENTHUSIASTS IN DEATH RACE AGAINST CYBORG MANHUNTERS
The Running With Arnold Workout Program, designed by legendary fitness guru Arnold Shwartsinager, promises to keep you on your toes night and day.
‘Girls and Cars and Songs About Loneliness, Songs About Love’ by Steve Passey
I wanted to see if someone might offer me a stupid amount of money for the truck. I might take it, I might not.
‘Tarantula’ by Tempest Miller
this is ‘kafkaesque’ in the pornhub search bar
‘IT WILL BLOW THE HEAD OFF A RHINOCEROS’: GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO ON HIS NEW .45 SEMIAUTOMATIC
Rambo replied that the rhinoceros was just an example, what he most likely would need to take down was a bag man from the Cleveland Mob.
‘Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram’ by Karol Nielsen
It may not have been what my friend imagined but I was prolific.
‘Trying to Sleep’ by Bo Ransom
But the beers aren’t
Hitting the system yet, which
Might be why this poem blows.
Mister Banana Is Careful What He Puts In His Body
My doctor tells me my life expectancy is off the charts in banana years.
3 MIRACLE OINTMENTS TO RUB ON THE IN-LAWS
Always follow recommended dosages. External application only.
‘Crepus Cool’ by Captain B
Atop borrowed wings
We gently slide
With light feet we land
STUMPED ON WHAT TO NAME YOUR STUPID NEW LITERARY JOURNAL? TRY THE GORKO’S NEW NAME GENERATOR!
NOTA BENE!!!!!!!!!!! Remember, these methods are NOT infallible! Please remember that you naming a literary journal is NOT the same as naming a porn persona.
all the items i indicated i relate with on the ‘northern nebraska various states of self-identification index’ by William M. Mcintosh
I am suspicious and fearful of individuals in various forms of head-to-toe costumes.
‘THE TIMELY PROFITS OF EDUCATION’ by Antoine Bargel
And indeed, how was my wife supposed to procure my favorite Noirmoutier potatoes from Fauchon? With a military escort?
‘brigid’ and 2 more by Sadie Kromm
it was time that made
me realize characters
and instances are
not inclusively assigned.
MISTER BANANA IS CUTE AND SCRUMPTIOUS
she said it would simply not sell in airports.
‘The Wedding I Attended This Weekend’ by H.L. Dowless
Big enough from which the nude bride to climb, / Yet remaining neatly tucked away inside.
‘The Internet: A Complete User’s Guide! (Abridged)’ by Corey Pajka
‘I Gazed into the Abyss So the Abyss Wouldn’t Gaze Also into You!’