Cartoons, Gorkoglyphs
by thegorkogazette

Gorkoglyph 1.3

PAINT ME CHOCOLATE FREECLIMBER GORKO
  1. [UNREADABLE]
  2. PAINT ME / PAINTS ME
  3. CHOCOLATE
  4. FREECLIMBER GORKO

This mid-period inscription, known as the Spring Break Freeclimber Gorkoglyph, is unfortunately missing its key first glyph, which has made interpretation somewhat speculative. Nevertheless, based on extrapolations from other inscriptions also discovered in West and South Peoria that follow the ADVERB+ PAINT ME + ADJECTIVE + AGENT pattern, experts have concluded that the missing piece most likely had something to do with the manner in which Freeclimber Gorko was accustomed to paint people chocolate. The best translation we can offer, then, is along the lines of ‘Rough and tumble like you do, Freeclimber Gorko, paint me chocolate umm yumm’.

Markenbaldi’s ‘Gently paint a chocolate bunny on your wall, dangling Freeclimber’ is as fanciful and ludicrous as that gentleman’s typical outfits.