We have all been there: in the backseat while someone else is doing a pretty weak job of negotiating rush hour traffic or trying unsuccessfully to parallel park in front of a crowded restaurant. Sometimes our lives seem completely full of these embarrassing people and it can be difficult to know how to help them in a compassionate, responsible manner.
Well here are some useful, time-honored things you can shout at them.
‘Hey Rory you’ve got your blinker on. You’d better make that turn or else cancel the blinker.’
‘Rory, you’re too close, get off that guy’s ass. How would you like being tailgated all across town?’
‘Watch out! Jesus Rory.’
‘The speed limit is 55, Rory. You’re doing at least 65.’
‘Pop that clutch, Rory, attaboy.’
‘Turn right here. Turn, Rory!’
‘You missed the goddamn exit. Now we’re going to have to go back around.’
‘We’re going to miss the meeting. Step on it, Rory.’
‘Is that a cop?’
IN CASE YOU ARE INTERESTED…
‘If there are no hits, and walks remain at the current average of 2.45 per game, it will become literally impossible to score runs,’ she wrote in a recent article, ‘which means that games will not end after 45 minutes, but continue forever, and ever, and ever.’