The expression generally refers to a bad or difficult situation in which there may however be a glimmer of hope, or a good side. Not the case with Uncle Toby’s situation this evening. Image by […]
Month: September 2021
WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY DRANK BLEACH, ASKING FOR A FRIEND
It has come to the attention of The Gorko that Spike French, our long-time friend and reader, has proooooo-obably guzzled about two liters of bleach, for some unknown reason, but insists that he is calling […]
NSFW, BOSS STERNLY WARNS, SPOTTING PIC OF GIRLFRIEND LEANING OVER POTTERY WHEEL
‘NOT Safe For Work, Doug,’ your boss told you earlier this morning, spotting what his pervert’s brain instantly processed to be sloppy pornography. There was shocked silence in the row of cubicles as his voice […]
5 FAST DINNERS FOR WELL TBH PRETTY MUCH EVERY FUCKING NIGHT THIS WEEK
We at The Gorko know how your fast lifestyle and slim waistline demand excellence in and out of the kitchen. We strive to bring you the latest recipes from the most exotic restaurateurs and Michelin […]
NEW FITNESS PROGRAM PUSHUPS WITH DAISY® BLAMED FOR RASH OF PEORIA-AREA HEART ATTACKS
The latest fashion fad to sweep the Midwest, the popular crossfit-esque Pushups With Daisy® workout program, may indeed make a clean sweep of Peoria, body and soul, according to local minister Rasbald Jenkins. ‘Pushups With […]
Upcoming Movie: ‘Assault on Cell Block Number Nine or Was It Nineteen’
Writer-director and lead actor Donny Dumanavich might have spent a millisecond more pondering the confusing and unnecessary title of his latest action blockbuster, Assault on Cell Block Number Nine or Was It Nineteen, because the […]
THESE INNOCENT CITIZENS HAD THEIR CARS TAKEN FROM THEM AND IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY OF US
The Gorko hereby submits photographic evidence of a tragic and heartbreaking development in downtown Peoria today: hundreds of law-abiding citizens, dressed only in Spandex, have apparently had their cars confiscated by the government or a […]
WRITER’S BLOCK: WHEN IT AFFECTS YOUR THIRD GRADER
With kids across the country already back to school, many parents are being forced once again to find answers to those devastating third-grade writing prompts, both sentence and paragraph-level assignments. Fortunately, we have answers for […]
UNCLE TOBY WHAT DO YOU DO DOWN AT THE OLD QUARRY?
Ow, hey, fine I’ll get out of the car. Your car is stupid anyway. Uncle Toby has a girl-fren! Uncle Toby has a girl-fren! Photo by Artem Kryzhanivskyi on Unsplash.