Local sous chef Wilson Rappaport, known to customers and coworkers alike to be emotionally volatile and prone to episodes of stomping and pasta-flinging, did the right thing this week after throwing a particularly scandalous temper tantrum when we sent back his gigot d’agneau in a patently mediocre sauce: he wokked it back, pepping up the unsavory dish with a sprig of thyme and pinch of finishing salt.

‘Today Wilson did the right thing,’ Gorko lead reporter Hamm Sammich barked into a live camera, ‘wokking his gigot d’agneau all the way back to our table in apology for his brisk, rude behavior earlier in the evening.’ The sauce had been modified and was happily consumed by the gaggle of gorquitos.

‘I speet in their drinks,’ Wilson was overheard hissing to a waiter, but to the delight of the snubbed patrons, the entire meal was offered gratuit, which is French for free.

Photo by Michael Browning on Unsplash