A Poem By Toby
for Barbara from the office
She is always clothed in a gait of disinterest
Her tousled, carefully combed golden hair
Speaks lyric poetry like pure bromide to me
Callow to the utmost, maturely she sips her morning brew
With unknowingly meager nonplussed virgin charm
Her comely hands caressingly move on the keyboard
She dallies with the mouse, strong jawline taut
Her palaver at the water cooler now memories of elegance
A jeremiad like a mermaid’s song or a siren’s
I am writing volume one of her haggerogerphy.
Notes by local child Nadira
for Barbara Uncle Toby is just crazy about Barb E VIN THO she dumped his butt last fall.
clothed…gait NMS NOT MAKING SENSE TOBY. Gait means walk so how can you wear a walk. DUMB.
tousled…combed NMS TOBY.
poetry…bromide He probably means BROMANCE which is all the love he is ever getting from the office.
Callow We asked Uncle Toby what callow meant and he was like, ‘Yeah it is a kind of car.’
caressingly Sometimes Uncle Toby caresses the polaroid picture he took of her, and sings to it.
dallies…mouse Here he is talking about her computer OR the mouse is figurative. It could stand for himself, as in ‘She plays with Toby’s little finger’ or something.
water cooler Traditional stalking place for Uncle Toby at work.
jeremiad We asked Uncle Toby what the difference was between a jeremiad and a plain Jeremy and he said, ‘A Jeremy is a poem.’
haggerogerphy We asked Uncle Toby how he did in haggerogerphy when he was in school and he said he got straight As because he knew all the state capitals.