TROUBLING: IF EGGS COULD TALK

If eggs could walk and talk, what would they say? mused local philosopher-plumber Andy as we were delivering food to his apartment. The part-time technical school professor, author of three pamphlets, said that if eggs could talk ‘it would be just plain crazy.’

EGG TALK BY ANDY

Andy went on to give a number of examples of this so-called egg talk, speaking in a high, warbly voice that was like his grandma voice or something:

‘Careful you don’t drop me, my yolk gonna splash your shoes.’

‘Do NOT YOU DARE pair me with blood sossuj you fureak.’

‘Be brave.’

‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear…on the menu!’

‘Be not afraid of going slowly, my child.’

‘Chicken butt! Chicken butt! Chicken butt!’

We got the hell out of there.

Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash