Our green juice recipe is full of fresh, zesty kale, cucumber, lime, apples and celery! Loaded with a hearty splash of vodka, this juice is healthy and fun! You know about the health benefits of […]
Month: February 2022
IN PEORIA, A BATTLE OVER WHO GETS TO ASK CASEY TO THE PROM
What is this Prom, anyway?
2 Poems by Matthew McGuirk
‘You know…Jim, the sciency guy with glasses.’
HURRICANE ELMO CAUSES NO DAMAGE IN FLORIDA BECAUSE WE JUST MADE HURRICANE ELMO UP
As thousands abandoned their houses and traveled north in response to a call for evacuation Hurricane Elmo made landfall in eastern Florida late last night. Surprisingly the havoc it was expected to wreak on the […]
Garbage Problem
A BLESSING IN DISGUISE
Happy Valentine’s Day Losers
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COUNT DRAKGORTH HAS SPOKEN: YOU SHALL HAVE HIS CASTLE IN DRAKGORTH FOREST IN RETURN FOR YOUR THREE BEDROOM PEORIA SPLIT LEVEL
Insisting as usual on communicating via private messenger, Count Drakgorth has finally made up his mind about your current living arrangements: he will be deeding you his castle in Drakgorth Forest in darkest Romania in […]
HAPPY SUPERB BOWL SUNDAY EVERYONE IS A WINNER
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THE HORROR: WATCH THIS PERSON’S VALENTINE DATE’S TEETH MOVE
Oh my God, look at the teeth just wobble every time she bites down on a rib. Maybe she should have ordered the apple sauce. Cottage cheese maybe. But it’s a Valentine’s Day date. I […]
3D PRINTER OVERHEATS OUTSIDE WEST PEORIA, SPITS OUT 3000 REDNECK ZOMBIES
‘The fallout is completely under control,’ commented a PGI spokesperson.
HOW A SOMMELIER RECOMMENDS GUZZLING WINE FROM A SHOE
Stuck in a rut as far as drinking wine from shoes at parties, or at home? Don’t know what new wines to serve in a shoe, or what shoe pairs with your old go-to favorite? […]