2 Poems by Captain B

Pinches Chinches

Pinches chinches
Or zancudos
Or whatever the hell
Drilled hard
And burrowed
Deep in my skin
The first few days
I’d thought little volcanoes
Would burst
New colonies
Of microscopic critters
To infest my life
And of those around me
I knew there had to be a remedy
(to this comedy)
Known of and implemented
Long before
Johnson & Johnson
Or Pfizer got in on it
Lime and salt
Been coated in it
The last few days
Those colonies in retreat
Tonight she’ll lick my arm
Or my neck
After each shot of tequila


High, healed

Why do women who wear high heels indoors
Always take the apartment above you?

Why does every interesting country road
Have a vicious dog to get past?

Why does every beer have a bottom?
Or student a snotty nose?

Why can’t i buy a ranch
Have my own vicious dogs
Well, only if a threat imposed upon me
A horse, chickens, a goat or two
A fireplace of some sort
Lodging for my parents in retirement
And a place for Sunday barbecues
With family and friends?

Why did three-hundred female tortoises
Wash up dead and drowned on a shore
Where they’d meant to lay eggs?
No eggs were laid
Each tortoise could have laid between 70 and 100 eggs
Give or take, come on
That is a tragic day for the local turtle population

A caguama isn’t only a bottle of beer
It is another name for a tortoise
Which came first
Not a question
We only care about next
And future populations
Of both of those species
All species…

I’ve found a diving school
Have to call for rates and times
A Robin Hood of the sea i shall be
I’ll cut turtles and dolphins from illegal nets
Take the tilapia and huachinango for me



Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro