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Every week our Theme Expert, Teddy, goes into detail on a new theme. This week’s theme is Challenging Dinosaurs.

Many poets, though perfectly comfortable conversing at length on the Velociraptor or Tyrannosaurus Rex, have trouble when they stumble against the Challenging Dinosaurs, such as the Ankilosaurus, Styracosaurus, Tsintaosaurus, Lirainosaurus, or Baryonyx. The guide to this week’s Theme is designed to eliminate fear of Challenging Dinosaurs. So spread your Cearadactylus wings and make like a Ramphorhynchus!

THE BEST DEFENSE IS A GOOD OFFENSE WHEN DEALING WITH CHALLENGING DINOSAURS

Never let on that you find Challenging Dinosaurs difficult. Before anyone brings the topic up, try to casually insert a Challenging Dinosaur into the conversation. ‘The other day I was thinking about the Fluxcapacitasaurus, guys, and it occurred to me that due to the arrangement of the armored plates the assumed top speed of 88 miles an hour could only be obtained by the female of the species, or am I totally off base here?’

DO NOT CONFUSE CHALLENGING DINOSAURS WITH CHALLENGED DINOSAURS

Many dinosaurs have been proven to be pure mythological or fantasy creatures, created by bored scientists to while away the summer months in the laboratory. Those are known as the Challenged Dinosaurs, not because they were defective, but because their existence has been challenged by serious academics. Challenging Dinosaurs are a completely different animal.

EVEN CHARLIE SHEEN KNOWS THAT CHALLENGING DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT

Just ask Charlie Sheen, lounging about with beautiful friends and lovers in his Malibu penthouse: much like aging rock stars or Hollywood producers, Challenging Dinosaurs are a thing of the past and no longer a real menace to society.

Join Teddy every week as he goes stalking the internet in search of new Themes.

Photo by Scott Greer on Unsplash