Too cool for school by Captain B


I’d spied them long before they saw me
I cleared the curb with a bunnyhop
With both more flair and altitude than needed
Almost a tabletop
I then whipped a quick three-sixty
Now with left foot on front peg
Kicked the back wheel up
Seat secured under my elbow
And glid, glode, glided
What was referred to
By those in the know
At that time
A hang-five
I rode it some meters
Before letting the tail down
To swing around
I stepped through to the back peg
Now the front wheel in the air
And scuffed a backyard
Starting wide before tightening
Riding the golden spiral in
To a tight and quick spin
I did not cleanly get back to my pedals
But touched down
If i’d been down in St. Paul
At the Midwest Freestyle Series
Judges would’ve noticed
I knew the unofficial judges noticed
Not the mistake so much
As the show
I pedaled in the other direction
Before turning back around
I pumped hard and picked up speed
I jumped up, right foot on seat, left on handlebars
And stood up in my (famous) surfer
As i rolled by
Pretending to notice them sitting on the wall
For the first time, said
Oh, hey
Amy R. and Tammy L. laughed
Tammy passed Amy the smoke they were sharing
They knew i knew that they’d been watching all along
And they’d been watching because i’d been performing
Only too obvious that i’d seen them first
I dropped to the pedals and rode over
Got another of those?
Got one more. Want it? It’s a Newport
Menthol, hell no, but i didn’t say it
Just waved a denying hand and shook my head
Staying at Kell’s tonight. He’s got some Winstons
It was Friday
We’d been about an hour out of school
Tammy was going to sleep at Amy’s
At that age i could only manage a few minutes of conversation
Before losing my cool
Of course we’re not talking emotional temper
And we’ll take the assertion lightly (thus undoing it)
I announced i was off to Kell’s
They asked where my backpack and change of clothes were
I scoffed
They laughed and made fun of me and boys in general for such things
As i was riding away, Amy called out to ask if i’d be at TVN
Teen Variety Night at the middle school
The following night
Probably i confirmed
And with a nod
I was off
Riding a wheelie into the sunset



Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro