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by thegorkogazette

3 GREAT LASAGNA RECIPES FOR COVERING THE CRUSHED GLASS

So you have decided against the arsenic, engine coolant, or a bullet to the head, and decided to kill them with a good old-fashioned dose of crushed glass, which will cause a not very quick or comfortable but pretty darn prompt shutdown of key organs, acute trauma, and death. The only question left is how to disguise the special last meal. Why not try lasagna?

LASAGNA SCHIACCIATO

This lasagna literally translated to Crushed-Glass-Pasta Lasagna, so who can say they haven’t been warned? Sprinkle, sift, or dump your portion of death into the layers of crushed pasta, and vita!

MIDWESTERN U.S. CASSEROLE-STYLE LASAGNA MADE WITH LO-FAT COTTAGE CHEESE AND SERVED ONTO PAPER PLATES

You don’t actually need crushed glass to murder people who have taste buds with this one. On the other hand if you serve this in Peoria you will need either crushed glass or half a pinch of dried chili pepper to kill them.

LIQUID LASAGNA

This classic lasagna smoothie makes the crushed glass go down like you would not believe.

Legal notice: This is a work of satire. The Gorko Gazette does not condone or counsel murder under any circumstances or by any means. And fuck your mother.

Photo by maryam jahanmehr on Unsplash

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