‘We do not know if you have ever seen a half-digested human corpse barfed back along with some oversized kibbles on somebody’s front lawn,’ they quipped.
Month: June 2022
GREAT PLANT-BASED SNACKS NO. 32: INSTANT CELERY STICKS
So your New Year Resolution was to cut down on carbs by introducing more plant-based snacks to your weekly routine, and The Gorko is here to help. PLANT-BASED SNACK NO. 32: INSTANT CELERY STICKS Not […]
3 TIMES HE FORGOT TO PUT THE OREGANO IN YOUR FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING
He can be so forgetful and thoughtless that sometimes it is almost like he is doing it on purpose. Last year he forgot your anniversary and just last week he neglected to compliment you on […]
Portrait by Jen: Mitch Kennedy
Portrait of Gorko movie reviewer Mitchell Kennedy, compliments of Jen of MoronicArts.com. We asked Jen to provide their impressions of Mitchell, the man and artist. They are printed below. Mitch Kennedy Mitch has an itch […]
STATISTICALLY PROVEN: EVERY TWENTY SECONDS A PERSON YOU KNOW IS PROBABLY THINKING ‘FAIRIES DON’T EXIST’
A shocking new study by Gorko Institute of Public Opinion (GIPO) published Tuesday revealed a fact that you may have already suspected, but most likely dismissed as paranoia.
WHOA IS IT WHAC-A-MOLE WEDNESDAY?
This reminds me a lot of the time when we forgot it was Mogura Taiji Monday until we noticed all the people running around whacking mogura!
MORE LIFE HACKS FROM SIMON AND GARFUNKEL: IF YOU ARE JUST A POOR BOY RUNNING SCARED LIE LA LIE, LIE LA LA LA LIE LIE
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie
ARE YOU DEAD? TAKE OUR FREE QUIZ TO FIND OUT
So it is Monday again and you are seriously wondering whether you are dead or alive. No worries, friend, we’ve got you covered! Take our 10-item quiz (2 minutes) to see if you are in […]
AITA FOR CRACKING ONE TINY JOKE AT MY NEPHEW’S CHRISTENING?
by Séamus Easton First of all, I just want to state that I did not show up with the intention of, as my sister put it, ‘guaranteeing her son a chamber in the darkest corner of […]
Portrait by Jen: Raddy
Portrait of Gorko EIC and EIG Raddy, compliments of Jen of MoronicArts.com. We asked Jen to provide their impressions of Raddy, the hunter and pecker. They are printed below. HUNT-AND-PECK Raddy uses a typewriter attached […]
WILL THERE BE SNACKS AT THE GROWN-UP PARTY OR JUST PEOPLE TALKING?
So they have invited you to another grown-up party, this time at one of those snazzy riverfront condos, and you may go because you have learned through many years of experience to tolerate this kind […]