How can we be sure that pets are dead, and not traveling?
Month: June 2022
REPORT: THIS BABY KNEW YOU WOULD CHOKE ON YOUR ORANGE JUICE AND SPRAY IT ALL OVER THE WAFFLES
Somehow this stupid baby just KNEW you would choke on your orange juice and spray it all over the waffles. Little son of a gun. Photo by Jason Sung on Unsplash
THIS COURAGEOUS MAN WENT BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 56 AND WAS BULLIED LIKE IT WAS 1974
Unfortunately for Lenny, times have not changed all that much in forty years.
Bureaucrat Smiles by Ryan Keating
—Bureaucrat Smiles— A bureaucrat has forty-one smiles,each one a subtle dishonesty-like the smile that says you aren’t getting what you want today, even though you brought all the necessary documents, or the one that expects […]
LIFE HACKS FROM SIMON AND GARFUNKEL: BE A SPARROW NOT A SNAIL
SIMON: I surely would rather be a hammer than a nail.
GARFUNKLE: Yes, I would too. If I only could.
YOU KNOW I LIKE MY GIRLS A LITTLE BIT OLDER
Josie’s on a vacation far away so come on over and talk it over. There are a lot of things I want to talk to you about, for example how I like my girls a […]
Portrait by Jen: Lemon Reilly
Portrait of Gorko staff psychiatrist Lemon Reilly, compliments of Jen of MoronicArts.com. We asked Jen to provide their impressions of Lemon, the guru and truth seeker. They are printed below. LEMON REILLY Lemon has a […]
‘QUIERO UN DIVORCIO’ ONLY SPANISH WE LEARNED FROM NEW MASTERCOURSE ‘TELENOVELA SPANISH’
In an attempt to improve her street-register Spanish, hoping to inject her A1-level vocabulary with a robust array of synonyms for amor, yo ir contigo, and cerveza, Sheila F. enrolled in the brand new mastercourse […]
NEW STAFF PORTRAITS BY MORONICARTS TO BE HUNG IN GORKO HALL OF STARES
COMING THIS MONTH TO THE GORKO GAZETTE‘S PEORIA-BASED HALL OF STARES: NEW SHRINES TO STAFF MEMBER INDUCTEES LEMON REILLY, MITCHELL KENNEDY, RADDY Many new readers, hearing of The Hall of Stares for the first time, […]
