LOCAL PEEWEE SOCCER BIG SIX TO FORM OWN SUPER LEAGUE

Mariana Newcomb, Chelsea Wilson, Savannah Diggs, Imani Keita, Ciara O’Hara, and new-mom-on-the-block Jean ‘Clavicle Puncher’ Hughes are among more than 35 local mothers who have agreed to join the new Peoria Super League, breaking off relations with the Peoria Park District recreational soccer program, Ms. Newcomb announced to reporters at halftime of her son’s match this afternoon.

In an earth-shattering move for Peoria soccer, children of the Big Six will be joining the kids of 35 other mothers in a ‘complementary’ league of their own.

‘Our intention is not to compete with the Peoria Park program,’ Ms. Hughes told The Gorko, ‘but to complement it. We have different goals for our children, different aspirations, and we intend to give them the opportunity to realize our dreams.’

The new Super League will showcase their new product on Wednesdays and Thursdays, leaving the coveted primetime Saturday-Sunday slots free for the Peoria Park children.

‘Conceivably a child could play in both leagues,’ conceded Ms. Wilson, ‘but I am not sure why they would do that. The Super League is going to establish its own brand, its own identity.’

The Big Six announced that the new season would begin as soon as Ms. Keita comes off maternity leave for her second, a daughter.

Peoria Park District manager Keith Wilson was unavailable for comment.