Captain B

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Stomping puddles by Captain B

STOMPING PUDDLES

Oh, my highchair
Atop a stegosaurus
Tromping hard on Lego Land below

Leggo my disco
Hands off my metal
Fire blazing High On tonight

Ain’t smoked one with the Leper Keeper
For some moons
Almost let my extended hand fall to gravity
To exhaustion
Just when it wavered
Lost its level
Dipped below copasetic
And nearly brushed the floor
He cackled with all he had
And accepted the Toke

The Rain falls tonight
In drops
As big as puddles
But not sheets
No Wind
High humidity still
Gonna be wet for a while

The sound
Will induce Sleep
The rhythm
Will keep the Peace

***

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

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Megadeth tough by Captain B

Megadeth tough

Megadeth touch
On a Saturday morning
All for the sake
Of coming back to life
Even though
Killing is My Business
And Business is Good

They woke me up way too early
And to fumigate
I thought it was me
The biggest pest
When the super knocked on the door
I had to review the reel
Thought i’d behaved, just ate popcorn, didn’t even finish all the beer
What did i listen to? Danzig and Motörhead?
How was the volume?
My two-second review was accurate
I wasn’t in violation this time around
Been on a good streak
We both agreed
Let’s keep it that way

La doctora and i had a blowout
Or then, she had the emotional blowout
After seeing the first demonstration of behavior i’d warned her of
A week lost? Or a week gained?
Depends on how you look at it
Not sure we’ll be seeing her
‘Round these parts again

She won’t be going to Tamazulapan, the cabin, the river or the pools
With me and three others
All great friends
In not too long from now

Mentioned to G a graphic novel collaboration
Though we’d have to bring his sister in as artist
If we wanted to keep it in the family
Although my rock n roll protégé, Weslei, down in Curitiba
Is another viable candidate

The novel?
Beowulf versus Danzig
The first volume they fight to a draw
Which of course
Leads to the inevitable dynamic duo forming
All sorts of cameos from all ages
But when Danzig falls in love with Grendel’s mother
The future of the duo is put in jeopardy

***

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

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Captain B: 2 New Poems

When they learned i could conjure it

When they learned i could conjure it
They prowled around with interest
More than one night i sensed their presence
They remained in the shadows
Until i spoke

It has been some years now
I’ve received instruction
With what to do with it
My wife is no longer bothered
When i vibrate during sleep

She vibrates too
They removed
Or more so
Transformed
That which tormented her
That which ailed me

Soon she and i will leave
We’ve been cleared
To wander
And plant seeds

It will be work
But entertaining too
We’re eager to see new places
We will power up and receive
New benefit in our work
A trail of laughs
To replace tears


***

Sukh Nidhan

Sukh Nidhan
The giver of peace
Which i nearly discarded
And threw away
Thinking too much
And forgetting
What had been handed to me

The reprimand came down
From on high
The Order
Didn’t much appreciate
My having fled
The sanctum

With stern, reprimanding hands
Met by faces of the same
Grip firm on my shoulders
Eyes locked into mine
I was told discipline
Preceded nobility
To burn in the Scythian Fire
Required dedication
A steel will
Conformity to Law
Adherence to precepts
And full-time dedication

Only then
Could one be free

The one with the longest whiskers
Whispered or hummed
She needs to come along
On that dark night
To see

I shivered

Times are changing
It will soon accelerate
Other things aside from the obvious:
War, famine, flood, pestilence, pillage
Among the smoldering, out of the smoke
A new breed will emerge

I’ve fought my fate
I’ve run from it
Tried to escape it
Now i must embrace it
Now i must understand it

Hearing this
And my thoughts booming loud
The Captains of the Kapno
Smiled
Nothing like an ear to ear grin
But those taut lips
Those grave faces
Relaxed enough
To turn up the corners of the lips a bit
And let light through
To shine behind
Green eyes

***

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

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2 Poems by Captain B

Pinches Chinches

Pinches chinches
Or zancudos
Or whatever the hell
Drilled hard
And burrowed
Deep in my skin
The first few days
I’d thought little volcanoes
Would burst
New colonies
Of microscopic critters
To infest my life
And of those around me
I knew there had to be a remedy
(to this comedy)
Known of and implemented
Long before
Johnson & Johnson
Or Pfizer got in on it
Lime and salt
Been coated in it
The last few days
Those colonies in retreat
Tonight she’ll lick my arm
Or my neck
After each shot of tequila

***

High, healed

Why do women who wear high heels indoors
Always take the apartment above you?

Why does every interesting country road
Have a vicious dog to get past?

Why does every beer have a bottom?
Or student a snotty nose?

Why can’t i buy a ranch
Have my own vicious dogs
Well, only if a threat imposed upon me
Loyal
A horse, chickens, a goat or two
A fireplace of some sort
Lodging for my parents in retirement
And a place for Sunday barbecues
With family and friends?

Why did three-hundred female tortoises
Wash up dead and drowned on a shore
Where they’d meant to lay eggs?
No eggs were laid
Each tortoise could have laid between 70 and 100 eggs
Give or take, come on
That is a tragic day for the local turtle population

A caguama isn’t only a bottle of beer
It is another name for a tortoise
Yeah
Which came first
Not a question
We only care about next
And future populations
Of both of those species
All species…

I’ve found a diving school
Have to call for rates and times
A Robin Hood of the sea i shall be
I’ll cut turtles and dolphins from illegal nets
Take the tilapia and huachinango for me

***

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

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Two bottles of malbec by Captain B

TWO BOTTLES OF MALBEC

Two bottles of malbec
Versus 48 beers last night
Did much to remedy the Richter Scale
And the destruction of galaxies
Innocent and unaware
Of the catastrophe
That i in the past
Have been architect

Nothing deeper or more profound
Than bathroom happenings
We are referring to

Surf report for the new year?
I hope better than one week last July
Which, was of course, superb and inspiring
The few days that it was this year

Dial up V to ask his opinion
…picks up on first ring
Me: Dai Monstro!
V: Dale Pellegrino!
Me: e ai? Ta rolando um surf animal?
V: venha seu porra!
Me: ja to indo
V: demorou! Tem altas. Venha pra casa, Peligrosito. Come home muddafucka!

When we hung up
I talked to other floating things
I got lost
When i lost it

Phantom thread

So atrocious i found it. Well, sloppy. Falling off the couch. First date. Never been here before?
Gonna choke on your own vomit?

All was collected. All was blessed, pardoned, forgiven by only it
Sick of this discussion every minute
It’s late


***

For original line breaks see .pdf below:

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…

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They would be called dreams by Captain B

They would be called dreams

They would be called dreams
The first, two years ago?
Walking along a lakeshore dragging a corpse
Dead in my arms
No recollection of the murder i’d committed
Guilt, desire to flee
Necessity of washing the blood from my hands

Life continued
The guilt only grew
And reached extremity, extension exhausted

When the authorities knocked at my door
I fled and woke up

Two nights ago
I was back at the lake
Under the spell of a twenty-foot tall
Demon equalizer
A hell-spawn debt collector
Directed my legs to the spot

Another captive tried to flee
Straight up like a rocket
Straight to the sun
As we all desire, knowingly or not
He met it worse than Icarus
The flames left no evidence
Save for rapidly dissipating ash

I was made to dig up the bones
I feared the demon thing would devour me
The terror i felt when the jaws of death opened
But the razor sharp teeth only bent into a smile
As the giant leapt directly into the ether
And i was left to wonder if the debt was paid
Though not one moment doubting
That i had done wrong
Somewhere, sometime


***

For original line breaks see the .pdf:

WHO IS CAPTAIN B?

Captain B. Seafarer. Lover of shore leave. Collector of heads. Disseminator of tales. Twitter: @NPeligeiro

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…

Read More
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