LIKE HOPSCOTCH FOR ADULTS: MY NEW ‘POLKAKRAUT FOR BEGINNERS’ CLASS IS ONLY COSTING ME 35 BUCKS A SESSION PLUS BYO CABBAGE
Its Peoria incarnation involves live polka music, talented choreography instructors, and of course extremely sharp…
WHY SWITZERLAND IS THERE
The Gorko has been receiving a surprisingly large number of emails over the past several…
ACCEPTING THOSE COOKIES BY BOB GIELOW
You accepted the cookies, didn’t you? Ha! That means you didn’t click on the ‘learn…
CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED VOLE
I kind of like it, this crazy little vole. It even knows how to rock…
I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAMED WHEN GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO CUT OFF HIS LEFT INDEX FINGER DURING LAST NIGHT’S LIVE SHOW
‘Murdock! I’m coming to get you! I’m your worst nightmare!’
GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO REVEALS THE 3 SMOKIEST DISHES THAT EVER GOT HIM FIRED
‘I was run out of RMP in Dodge City after attempting to add a bit…
WHAT’S RIDING UP OUR ASSES TODAY?
Oops we sat on the fruitcake again, and now it is riding up our asses.
AI SURE IS SMART
JESUS BUT HIS HEAD EXPLODING
OOPS NEW BAR ‘NEAR BEERS’ IS JUST A PUB CLOSE TO YOUR HOUSE
You ran right over to check it out with your AA sponsor Toby.
THE GORKO RAN YOUR EMAIL THROUGH AN AI TEXT DETECTION APP AND YEP YOU ARE A ROBOT
Your mother’s name is Dr. Donald Fispunks and he created you in a DARPA weapons…
PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SANDWICHES NO. 8
Favorite captions will be published at the end of the summer.
THIS CHINESE GIBBON KEPT IN A SOLITARY CAGE GOT PREGNANT AND HAD A BABY TRUST US YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED
No our reporters did NOT see Uncle Toby entering or pulling out of the monkey…
SNEAK PEEK: YOUR GENERATIONAL YEARBOOK, 2063
You and your group of cocksure friends may still be beautiful and full of vinegar…
FROM THE AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL: ‘Good cheese is like a fine wine’ by JENX
We all have guilty pleasures, methinks. Take cheesy music, for example.
RATZASS: UNRELEASED PRESS RELEASE BY BOB GIELOW
No female Fizer employees can imagine a health-conscious pregnant woman wanting to apply a product…
AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL
What is American cheese?
THE KINDERGARTENER REVOLUTIONIZING THE WAY WE THINK OF CRAYON ART
A local kindergartener enrolled in nearby Lake Glower Elementary, is doing with crayons something that…
CRAZY! THESE PEOPLE WENT TO RED LOBSTER ON A MONDAY
How dare they!
HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY GORKO!
To celebrate our second birthday here is a look back at a few of our…
NO NEED FOR STICKS PRICKLES WILL HELP US WITH THE S’MORES
ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST FOR TODAY’S IMAGE Free to enter because we want you to…