IF I COULD PLAY THE GUITAR
I have a feeling I’d have
a lot more sex.
it would increase the odds
that I’d have an STD.
Come to think of it,
thank God, I can’t
The Weird Thing about The Blues
is that there are so many blue things
that make me happy. Like the ocean,
and peacocks, and the blue dart frog.
I mean, who wants to cry when they’re
staring at a peacock? Seriously, it’s
a combination of pea and cock, which
isn’t exactly something that makes you
have suicidal ideation. The same with
the blue fart dog, or however you spell
it. I just think they should name those
sad songs off of a different color. But
I realize I’m writing a poem, so I think
I’m supposed to have an ending that
inspires you, but the problem is that
right now I have to pee. And I can’t
think of anything inspirational that
quickly, which means I just might
piss myself in bed. And, that, my
friends, is the epitome of the blues.
When I Was Age 7, My Mother Would Smoke
She would roll down the window.
I’d tell her I couldn’t breathe and
she’d tell me, ‘Don’t be silly,
the window is cracked open.’
But all it would do is blow all
that smoke directly to me in
the backseat, so all that smoke
would be swirling around me
like a tornado, so I’d roll my
window all the way down and
they’d tell me it was too loud,
so I’d yell up that I couldn’t
hear them and they’d yell to
shut my damn window and
I’d yell back that I couldn’t hear
them, not with all the smoke in
my ears, and my dad would slam
the brakes and he’d come around
back and while he was rolling up
my window, I’d jump into the front
seat and I’d floor it, my mom in
the passenger seat, screaming,
and my dad hanging onto the back
door that was swinging back and
forth, and I’d see the cigarettes
right there, so going 70 miles per
hour, I’d light up a cigarette too.
I loved spending time together.
ABOUT THE ARTIST
Ron Riekki’s books include My Ancestors are Reindeer Herders and I Am Melting in Extinction (Loyola University Maryland’s Apprentice House Press), Posttraumatic (Hoot ‘n’ Waddle), and U.P. (Ghost Road Press). Right now, Riekki’s listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s ‘Storm.’ He is also a pirate.
Image by Amelie Jumel