Mouth House by Eli S. Evans

Mouth House

If your mouth was a house, the roof would be the ceiling. Furthermore, whosoever lived inside of the house that your mouth was would constantly be at risk of being swallowed. It truly would be a harrowing experience. Although, now that I think about it at somewhat greater length, it actually seems like there would be nowhere for whosoever lived inside of the house that was your mouth  to run their septic pipe than right on down through your esophagus, in which case the only logical place to put the toilet bowl from which that septic pipe descended would be right on top of your esophageal opening, also known as your throat, meaning that if your mouth was a house, you wouldn’t be able to swallow at all and would therefore quickly starve to death provided you didn’t first go stark raving mad as a result of the constant sensation of not being able to swallow. Point being that in just these days when everyone, and not merely yoga teachers, is talking so much about the importance of having gratitude, one thing those of you whose mouth is not a house can be grateful for is that your mouth is not a house. And as for those of you whose mouth is a house – well, things could always be worse. For instance, suppose it were an apartment building! 


ABOUT THE ARTIST

Eli S. Evans publishes his absurdist fictions and other oddities around and about the internet. In addition, two books of small stories, Obscure & Irregularand Various Stories About Specific Individuals in Particular Situations, have been published by Moon Rabbit Books & Ephemera. Buy one!

Image created on Stable Diffusion 2- 1

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One response to “Mouth House by Eli S. Evans”

  1. Thanks to Eli S for giving me something new to consider. I had never actually thought about such a circumstance.

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