The Gorko Gazette

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thegorkogazette

10.1.2025 9:00 AM

Gorko Serial Offender: Theodore Wallbanger

THE CRIME

Teddy writes: Let me ignite this buttercream expose by saying my flesh vessel thrives on words and chalk. Phew, that was simple. I was nervous about discussing my bingo bango Gorko piece because they are all dribble charm sparks of mine, so I launched a chalk on my grand display cave wall which danced across ‘too many words’. The critics tend to push this comment into my suggestion holes. All of this is done for smiles. Imagination is my key to smile life.

Read ‘too many words’ here.

Teddy’s other favorite Gorko: Other Gorko masterpieces consumed with joy are anything created by JD Clapp which populates their glee site.

THE CRIMINAL

Berthed from mischievous leprechauns near technicolor shadow lands surrounding Honah Lee, Theodore Wallbanger rides mysterious sparkle railcars bursting with crunchy cotton candy clouds dispatched from slippery erotic massage vixens who rage pillow laugh hourly within a splintered transportation module that screams along butterscotch wonder tracks forming vibrations for audiences across Sugar Hill Mountain.

BLOODY MURDER

What is Gorko Serial Offenders? We invited more than thirty writers and artists who over the years and centuries have had their work featured in The Gorko at least a few times (a few times is 3) to submit a micro exposé on their own favorite piece. What is it, where did it come from, why did it appear in The Gorko, who cares? Here is a big thank you to all our contributors. The next Gorko Serial Offenders will likely be in 2026, when you too could receive an encrypted email from Raddy that begins, Dear Humanoid, We are delighted to inform you. If you were overlooked for this callout please bring it to the attention of Scrapes Henderson, the Gorko scapegoat, by writing to thegorkogazette@gmail.com with the words CHAW ME SCRAPES in the subject line, and we will review your case.