The Gorko Gazette

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10.15.2025 9:00 AM

Gorko Serial Offender: Antoine Bargel

THE CRIME

Antoine writes: My own favorite piece: ‘Bird Poo on the Lawn Chair’.

After gracing The Gorko with more than three remarkably funny pieces, I find myself incapable of humor at the moment. Deprived of my one confirmed literary talent, I am at a loss to produce commentary on my work (something so seldom at issue for writers). Whilst I prepare for my new career as a sad clown, the relatively appetizing appearance of oysters in this story reminds me of two other culinary highlights: ‘one steamed wonton at the tip of long ivory chopsticks‘ and ‘that juicy, quivering boiled oyster — enticing yet deceitful, concealing a hollow like a tiger trap’.

Read ‘Bird Poo on the Lawn Chair’ here.

Antoine’s other favorite Gorko: Not to ass kiss too deeply, but my favorite piece not my own is and has been ‘THAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE-HANDED GOD CLAPPING FOR YOUR DUMB ORATION BROTHER ETHERNAN‘.

THE CRIMINAL

Antoine Bargel writes poetry and fiction in English and French. His stories have been published in Easy Street, Jellyfish Review, Harpang, and elsewhere. His first novel, Ma vie parfaite, is currently being translated into English. He has a Ph.D. in Romance Languages from the University of Oregon, and has translated over 30 novels from English to French. His personal website is https://antoine.bargel.eu

BLOODY MURDER

What is Gorko Serial Offenders? We invited more than thirty writers and artists who over the years and centuries have had their work featured in The Gorko at least a few times (a few times is 3) to submit a micro exposé on their own favorite piece. What is it, where did it come from, why did it appear in The Gorko, who cares? Here is a big thank you to all our contributors. The next Gorko Serial Offenders will likely be in 2026, when you too could receive an encrypted email from Raddy that begins, Dear Humanoid, We are delighted to inform you. If you were overlooked for this callout please bring it to the attention of Scrapes Henderson, the Gorko scapegoat, by writing to thegorkogazette@gmail.com with the words CHAW ME SCRAPES in the subject line, and we will review your case.