A local creepy guy in a clean black hoodie has been following customers into the local 7-Eleven, pretending to shop, and then following them out, careful to keep mask over both mouth and nose, observe proper social distancing at all times, use sanitary gel, and conscientiously disinfect both sneakers on the chlorine floor mat at the entrance every single time he creeps.

What is going on around here?

‘He is a creep, but he definitely has excellent hygiene,’ confirmed Stella Rigby, third-shift cashier at the 7-Eleven. ‘I would probably hold hands with him or even go further.’

Other customers knew the stalker by name.

‘Oh, that’s James,’ one woman said. ‘He is really afraid of the virus, so he is extra careful when he goes out, and never goes near anyone.’

When asked why James was running in and out of stores all day like a creep, it was generally thought that he was doing voluntary home delivery for elderly residents in the area.

‘Yeah, James is super nice,’ confirmed Stella to this Gorko reporter. ‘I would order groceries from him for sure.’

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash