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Category: Headlines
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR WIENER ACCIDENTALLY SLIPS INTO THE FIRE
So it has happened again: you are standing at the bonfire with a person you are hoping to impress, wiener on stick, and the goldarn thing slips off into the fire, settling firmly into the […]
SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. IT WASN’T HER FIRST RUSSIAN SA3 BUFFER-AND-SCREW, AFTER ALL
There were doubters at first but she made believers of us all as she surveyed, mounted, and then uncoupled the Cherepanov steam locomotive from its multiple unit cargo cars with one deft movement of her […]
HOT-TEMPERED SOUS CHEF FORCED TO WOK IT BACK
Local sous chef Wilson Rappaport, known to customers and coworkers alike to be emotionally volatile and prone to episodes of stomping and pasta-flinging, did the right thing this week after throwing a particularly scandalous temper […]
Classic Gorko: The Advice Files
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PARENTS OF JOURNALIST DETAINED IN MYANMAR: IT’S A NICE BREAK FOR US
She said that the retired couple were really quite relieved to be getting a break from Dwayne’s condescending attitude and long bathroom routines.
BRUSH UP ON YOUR FRENCH: HOW DO YOU SAY ‘MAC N CHEESE’ IN PARIS?
Many students who are after a more authentic experience on their semester abroad actually attempt to learn some of the local languages such as Tagalog, Kra-Dai, Tai-Kadai, or even French. If you are going to […]
EARTHQUAKE!
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CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK TO REJOIN THE CREW OF THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE FOR NACHOS AND BEER
Captain James Tiberius Kirk of Starfleet Command spoke to Earth earlier this week about his plans to rejoin the crew and officers of his illustrious Starship Enterprise for one final glorious voyage. The intergalactically famous […]
RIGHT BEFORE JENNY FUCKING SNAPPED
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