So it has happened again: after a wonderful afternoon in which you both laughed, cried, and ate some amazing sandwiches, she has mysteriously clammed up, and even rejects the advances of your hand across the vinyl of the front seat.
What is wrong? What did you do or say? Is she mad at you?
We asked 27 experts and they each gave us a possible explanation. Here are the top 10.
1. You used the last of the toilet paper or replaced it facing the wrong way.
This is a common mistake in the suburban United States. Walk it back, buster! -Emily from Kansas
2. Her name was Sheila, not Barbylegs.
Stop making fun of her friends, asshole. They are more successful than you ever will be, and people are not sex dolls. -Geoff himself
3. You forgot her birthday?
Just kidding. -Robert, New York
4. The quiche was undercooked again.
How do you mess up the only cool thing a man can do in the kitchen? Loser. -Michelle from C-Space
5. Too much thumb in the programmed back massages.
Also common in the United States of Big Thumb. Take the time to learn some new moves, dimwit. -Clair and Susan from Big Whiskey
6. You chewed with your mouth open for 0.5 seconds.
She is not your mother, and yet can’t even be seen with you in public. Some people just need chewing lessons. -Toby from high school
7. The movie you chose sucked.
Better do your research next time, Kevin, and start delivering quality content. -Phil from Philly
8. You farted and never apologized.
Walk it back. But wait a couple of minutes first. -Mary in Nebraska
9. You hogged the covers.
Stop taking the whole bedroll with you when you turn over. And stop snoring with your mouth wide open. -Jill and her friend Toby
10. There is lipstick on your underwear.
Worse than the classic blond hair. Remember to always burn your clothes. -Theo from your future
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash