Chef Mike, a saucier out of Tuscon, Arizona, was overheard this Tuesday bitching about the latest home appliance fad, the Instant Pot®, a combo pressure cooker, slow cooker, and rice maker gizmo. He was negotiating a bunny slope below the chiarlifts at Vail astride a pair of large, wobbling parabolic skis that he turned using aggressive thrusts of his meaty hips that on traditional skis would have tossed him face-first to his own death between the toddlers.
‘Amateurs, people who do not know the first thing about the principles of making a sauce,’ bitched the master chef, ‘google MUSHROOM SAUCE INSTANT POT and instantly have at their command thirty-five recipes to choose from.’
The saucier, slamming to a halt in front of the chairlift by wedging the tips of his skis at the very last second, explained that the so-called amateurs would then chop and shred the ingredients, toss them into the pot, and press a button.
‘Voila!’ he exclaimed, speaking only in French. ‘Miraculously three hours later, while the guests are arriving, the virgin gives birth to a fully-formed pot roast, or lasagna!’
When asked about his rental skis, Chef Mike was not forthcoming. ‘I learned how to ski when I was twelve. I play volleyball on the weekends at the YMCA.’
Could an Instant Pot® improve your prowess on the culinary slopes this holiday season?
Ski photo by David Becker on Unsplash