Nuclear holocaust survivors Maud and Harold Green have yet to realize their unique predicament as the last living people in Peoria, a source told The Gorko Wednesday.
‘They are just going about their normal lives as midwestern retirees,’ we think the source told us from inside the hazmat suit. ‘They have noticed that it has been unseasonably warm this spring.’
Depending on the pronoun of our source, either Maud or Harold is set to be the last man or woman in Illinois. They both turn 85 in October.
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Nijs’ team suffered a true beatdown in the game that followed the satanic pact, however, losing 8-2 and being summarily eliminated from playoff contention.