- ENGLISH MUFFIN
Found at the bottom of Lake Peoria in 2012, this semi-pornographic gorkoglyph demonstrates distinctive late-period characteristics: fascination with yet rejection of traditional gastronomical centerpieces such as muffins (glyph 1), youth immortalizing themselves in the punk rock record (glyph 2), toppled yet unvanquished executive power (glyph 3), and of course the Peoria Tea Party of 1999 (glyph 4), the history of which is at best murky. The ‘muffin fuck’ may have been a prominent member (lead singer or guitarist; less likely drummer/bassist) of a late-era Peoria punk or grunge band who participated in the teabag event.
Markenbaldi infamously claimed the inscription should read, ENGLISH MUFFIN, CAREFREE, FACES TEATIME, which is to say ‘This hot English boy on vacation in Illinois for some reason is about to indulge in Old World noshings’. His reading need not be considered.