Citing the fact that it is ‘all just noise anyway’ the Federal Communications Commission Thursday cancelled rock ‘n’ roll indefinitely.

What were some of the immediate reactions?

‘It doesn’t really affect us one way or another,’ commented local dentist Colleen Parker, as a patient grunted under her periodontal probe and Kenny G soared through tinny office speakers. ‘We have our own selection of easy listening to soothe the patients.’

‘I don’t like rock music,’ claimed a man at the Classical Music Warehouse, getting right in our face. ‘In fact, I don’t know anyone who listens to that trash.’

‘It is devil music,’ said another citizen, Mark Thompson, director of the FCC regional branch, ‘that plays the cannibal pied piper to Satan’s jungle aria.’

From all indications, rock ‘n’ roll will not be missed in Peoria.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash