- FOR DOGS
This unusual gorkoglyph has long intrigued archaeologists, all interpretations having raised more questions about the habits and culture of mid-90s Peorians than provide answers. The crux is, no tasty pancake mansion for dogs was recorded in the Peoria area until around 2012, when Sheepsie Mulligan opened the Doglicious Pancake Hotel, a combination pet hotel and rescue service that began feeding its guests different kinds of high-protein pancakes.
‘Gorkoglyph 1.6 seems to turn what we know about pet hotels in the Midwest before the turn of the century completely on its head,’ Dr. Marta Jekyde, the foremost gorkoglyph expert in the U.S. except of course for Dr. Markenbaldi, told The Gorko in a phone interview. ‘It essentially means that dogs were being served large batches of tasty pancakes decades before the invention of the ten-dog griddle. That primitive Peorians were able to do this means the owners of the Pancake Mansion either had to have had access to huge amounts of manpower, that is to say slaves for their dog kitchens, or a pancake technology that has since been lost to history.’
When asked whether glyph 4 did not represent human beings in the downward dog yoga position, Dr. Jekyde just said no. ‘Definitely not. Well maybe. No, it does not.’