- MOUSE
- ENFORCER
- TRICK OR TREAT
- STIFFY
Gorkoglyph 1.7 is another example of ancient cave art that has stumped scholars since its discovery in the excavation of the girls locker room at Peoria West High in the early aughts. The most obvious explanation is that the mural depicts an early form of locker room bullying, the Mouse Enforcer being the leader of a gang of aggressive ‘mouses’ (in fact female high school juniors and seniors) who extorted payment in trick or treat form (cf. Glyph 3). Spiffy and Stiffy were mid-90s Peoria underworld terms for Cool Cuke and Nerd Turd, respectively. The cool cuke Mouse gang most likely bullied lonely, balding nerd chicks.
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OUR NATURE CORRESPONDENT WENT TO THE DESERT ON A HORSE WITH NO NAME
Our Nature Correspondent Dale Duyamishlebout (they/them/their/they’re) reports back from the desert, where they went on a horse without a name. Here are some of the more cryptic dispatches that preceded their disappearance yesterday, 16 July. Perhaps these notes can give us some clue as to their whereabouts and state of being.
10 July
‘There are plants and birds and rocks and things. I am really concentrating on the nature.’
11 July
‘I met a fly with a buzz.’
2 July
‘The heat is hot, and the ground well it looks…