The Gorko hereby submits photographic evidence of a tragic and heartbreaking development in downtown Peoria today: hundreds of law-abiding citizens, dressed only in Spandex, have apparently had their cars confiscated by the government or a powerful local cartel. Fortunately the shell-shocked victims appear to be fleeing the scene in relative calm, following their usual commute.
Stay at home, we plead you. Lock your cars in your garages. They are coming for our cars, for your cars, for our sweet wheels.