We at The Gorko know how your fast lifestyle and slim waistline demand excellence in and out of the kitchen. We strive to bring you the latest recipes from the most exotic restaurateurs and Michelin chefs we can suborn in Peoria. But sometimes it is not enough, because you are too exhausted to lift a finger when you step out of your Maserati to do anything but let the nimble fingers of the servants massage your weary muscles as you heat then slip Oscar Meyer hotdogs into some buns.
Here are 5 new recipes for let’s face it every fucking night this week you do not have enough energy to make anything nice at all.
Turkish Delight
This is just candy out of the bowl on the coffee table, preferably sour taffy. Tell yourself it is a magic, winter wonderland sweet imbued with special energy-giving properties, like in Narnia.
Three-ingredient beer batter for baseball season
Ingredients: beer, flour, salt. Oops, and baseball. Mix beer, flour, and salt in a tall glass and drink while watching a sport.
Not your grandma’s sloppy tommies
Mix raw beef in any form with bread of any kind over high heat in a pan or griddle of any sort with oil, butter, or Crisco. Swallow, don’t chew.
Freezer-ready corpse*
*Depending on availability.
Easy bell pepper sautee
Sautee a bell pepper. (Sauteeing optional.) Serve whole.
Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash