Speaking with the press for the first time yesterday afternoon since their son was unlawfully detained and imprisoned earlier this month by authorities in northern Myanmar, parents of Gorko field reporter Dwayne Pishkings confirmed that they were actually rather enjoying having a break from their know-it-all, obnoxious son.
‘He’s really quite an asshole,’ Dwayne’s father Lloyd told the assembled journalists. ‘Always has been. We are glad he got nicked in Burma and are looking forward to not having to interact with him for awhile.’
Dwayne’s mother was no less enthusiastic about her dwanyecation.
‘Dwayne is a classic sociopath,’ she told the throng, ‘and is rude and inconsiderate, so good luck to him in that Burmese prison.’
She said that the retired couple were really quite relieved to be getting a break from Dwayne’s condescension and long mid-morning bathroom routines.
The Gorko has been unable to make contact with Dwayne, to everyone’s relief.