THE REAL HALLOWEEN? DESCRIBE YOUR PROLAPSED HEMORRHOIDS IN SIX WORDS OR LESS

Hemorrhoids (traditionally known as piles, just like Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley on consumption probably was talking tuberculosis) are swollen veins in your lower rectum and anus (read: butthole) that can AS YOU WELL KNOW cause extreme pain and irritation when sitting or attempting to move your bowels.

Last week’s Gorko Fan Club game was: describe your extremely uncomfortable, excruciatingly painful condition using only six words! Here are some of our favorite responses.

Prolapsed piles! Appears apples are pineapples (@pilesofpiles)
We think this means that it is painful to pass even very small (crabapple-sized) turds.

Hem of my hemorrhoids! Horrible happenings (@philpileon)
Hem refers to the prolapsed vein(s) protruding from Phil’s anus.

Room to spare, I don’t dare (@mitchellkennedy)
No idea what Mitchell means by this.

Peace comes to those who wait with Life Doctor friends (@lemonreilly)
This is actually 10 words, Lemon.

Sat and shat a sheep shard (@proforlapsum219)
Wow. Ow.

Photo by Yulissa Tagle on Unsplash

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