Hemorrhoids (traditionally known as piles, just like Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley on consumption probably was talking tuberculosis) are swollen veins in your lower rectum and anus (read: butthole) that can AS YOU WELL KNOW cause extreme pain and irritation when sitting or attempting to move your bowels.
Last week’s Gorko Fan Club game was: describe your extremely uncomfortable, excruciatingly painful condition using only six words! Here are some of our favorite responses.
Prolapsed piles! Appears apples are pineapples (@pilesofpiles)
We think this means that it is painful to pass even very small (crabapple-sized) turds.
Hem of my hemorrhoids! Horrible happenings (@philpileon)
Hem refers to the prolapsed vein(s) protruding from Phil’s anus.
Room to spare, I don’t dare (@mitchellkennedy)
No idea what Mitchell means by this.
Peace comes to those who wait with Life Doctor friends (@lemonreilly)
This is actually 10 words, Lemon.
Sat and shat a sheep shard (@proforlapsum219)
Photo by Yulissa Tagle on Unsplash
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