Every week our Theme Expert, Teddy, goes into detail on a new theme. This week’s theme, just in time for the holidays, is Homemade Eggnog.
Many poets forget about the real meaning of Christmas while bustling about doing shopping, putting up decorations, wrapping gifts, and having holiday sex like crazy. They let the transient, material glitter blind them to what is really important about this time of the year: strong hot drink with an egg and cream base.
Here are three things that will make Homemade Eggnog the real reason to celebrate this holiday season:
1. Despite my earlier joke, most people will not consciously sleep with a poet unless they have first been plied with several rounds of steaming Homemade Eggnog.
2. Charlie Sheen drinks Homemade Eggnog at his Malibu penthouse with other good-looking people, even when it is not Christmas.
3. Homemade Eggnog doesn’t even have to be homemade! Just pick some up in a carton from your local Whole Foods, and settle back in your sweater vest and slippers for the time of your life.
GET YOU SOME
Nothing says It’s business time like a frothy mug full of freshly blended Homemade Eggnog. Tell them it is homemade and you are practically rounding third.
IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR CHARLIE SHEEN, IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
Don’t do it. Do not double guess the Homemade Eggnog of the rich and famous. I mean this is Richard ‘Ditch’ Brodie we are talking about, come on.

Even Americans HAVE FOUND A WAY TO ENJOY HOMEMADE EGGNOG
Not comfortable throwing together the literally just 4 ingredients necessary to make your own Homemade Eggnog? Never fear, there is probably a Whole Foods or even a Food Lion near! Check out special Holiday Racks near the back of the store for discount Homemade Eggnogs. Pour into a glass pitcher for serving and no one will ever be the wiser.
Join Teddy every week as he goes stalking the internet in search of new Themes.
Photo by The Humble Co. on Unsplash