Every week our Theme Expert, Teddy, goes into detail on a new theme. This week’s theme is Regifted Fruitcake.
Many poets, staggering through the front door after a large holiday celebration with family or in-laws upstate, overwhelmed by a pile of Regifted Fruitcakes, sink into a morass of despair. I mean, you aren’t going to eat ten of these things, are you?
Yet never give up, valiant wordsmiths, there is a time and a place for every Regifted Fruitcake. Right off the bat (a baseball metaphor) we can think of three:
Ten tins a-tipping
No one cares what you do with the fruitcake. Toss it to a neighborhood mutt, or regift it and count yourself sly. What really matters is what you do with the tin: use bleach, scrub thoroughly to get that nasty candied fruit smell out, and then line it with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, cake, caramel, anything.
COLD CAKES A-CURLING
Put those fruitcakes into the chest freezer for the next round of Fruitcake Curling with the neighbors. Loser eats the stones!
FOURTEEN FRUITCAKES FLYING
What is the worth of a Regifted Fruitcake? Could it be quite simply the value each individual derives from its use? Get out your birdshot and launch those babies across the backyard for target practice. Regift them at the shooting range to your militia pals! Use them, enjoy them, any way you can.
Join Teddy every week as he goes stalking the internet in search of new Themes.