AMERICAN AIRLINES NOT RESUMING ON-BOARD ‘AMERILYMPICS’ AFTER GOLD MEDAL GAFFE

There are moments that you look back on as embarrassing for years to come, and then there are massive public gaffes that make you want to crawl into a hole and die, or even change company policy. What happened aboard American Airlines Flight 762 between Beijing and Tokyo last Saturday night, however, when the Amerilympics Suitcase Bomb Challenge gold medal was awarded to the wrong participant, was nothing short of showstopping.

‘We all watched as the flight attendant finished saying CANADA and draped the medal around the neck of the American vaulter,’ reported one paying customer, Tuk Von Pell of Australia. ‘We all let out a collective groan but the presenter didn’t get it. By the time we had landed, the damage had already been done.’

Damage to fragile egos has never been known to derail an entire Amerilympics.

‘It is a tragic day for airline athletes,’ remarked an AA spokeperson.

Others, however, disagreed.

‘Well they don’t call them ‘Canadalimpics’ do they? These are the Amerilympics! YOU ES AY! YOU ES AY!’ barked the rude, mistaken recipient of the gold. The athlete refused to surrender the medal even after the mistake had been pointed out.

The popular games, which feature such events as the Airline Egg Scramble, Zero-Weight Weightlifting, Oxygen Mask Relay, and of course the ratings-topping Suitcase Bomb Challenge, have been taking place since 1978.

Photo by John McArthur on Unsplash