REPORT: UNCLE TOBY JUST SPENT AN HOUR CLEANING HIS NEW TENNIES

Ask a local child if you ever want to find out what Toby just spent an hour doing.

‘He was sitting on the back porch cleaning his new white tennies because he freaked out when we got back from the park and saw they were kind of smudged,’ reported local child Nadira, blood relative to the man who used soap, water, rubbing alcohol, and a toothbrush to clean his shoes.

She added, ‘He should just get black shoes if he is going to be so freaky about it.’

Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash