We have all been in this predicament before, at the hostel, feet on the ground in Amsterdam, chuckling it up with our new Dutch and French traveler friends, and then the foot slips and ends up right in our mouth, hairy toes and all.
That’s right, we have gone and made that quip about the Netherlands that has the potential to be so funny, so endearing under the right circumstances under the wrong circumstances.
Here are some of the circumstances under which it is totally inappropriate.
BEFORE THEIR SIXTH BEER
Don’t get me wrong, the Netherlands remark is one of the all-time greats, but if your new friends are not properly lubed it just might be best to hold off until they are more receptive or there is a chance they will only vaguely recall it.
WHILE WAVING YOUR LITTLE AMERICAN FLAG
Nothing gets a Dutch back up like an uninformed American gloating about world domination. Keep your triumphant neo-colonialist speech and the Netherlands gag separate.
DURING SEX
So maybe you get lucky with your new Dutch friend(s) and the evening is trending towards explosive orgasm. Hold off on delivering the Netherlands line until you roll off, at least.
IN DUTCH
Sorry to break this to you, but the Netherlands joke just doesn’t work in the Netherlands language. Try the one about the blonde and brunette and the skyscraper instead.
Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash