Tough Day At Work by Seamus Easton

TOUGH DAY AT WORK

Today, I wore my NightGuard™ to work
I wear it for enamel protection and shock absorption

Yesterday
Fiona in accounting bodychecked me in the copy room
It was an accident

Probably

I didn’t complain to human resources because Fiona is getting a divorce
And that is more painful than any bodycheck

Normally my NightGuard™ only gets worn in my bed
When I am asleep it guards me against dreams
Dreams that grind my teeth to dust

I am also wearing my NightGuard™ at work
To support my local basketball club
Who has made it to the championship
Those tall tall tall strong basketball boys
Have to wear NightGuards™ on the court
To avoid concussions

My favourite basketball move is the layup
Low risk, gets the job done
Just like me

Fiona likes slam-dunks the best
Because they are glamorous

Maybe that’s why she’s getting divorced

At my desk, I hang my NightGuard™ out of the side of my mouth
Resting
Ready for my next play

If Fiona runs me again, I will knock her to the ground
But help her back up because that’s good sportsmanship

An office is a lot like a basketball court
Hardwood floors
Glass
Children mopping sweat off the ground with big cloths on sticks
A jumb-o-tron in the centre displaying critical office moments

Yesterday, Fiona’s bodycheck made the highlight reel
Today I will make her pay

Photo by Austrian National Library on Unsplash
Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

WHO IS SEAMUS EASTON?

Séamus Easton is a writer, performer, and stand-up bass appreciator. His writing has appeared in An Injustice, Slackjaw, The Mindful Word, and others. He can be found on Twitter & Instagram @tweetsbyseamus.