LOCAL LANDLORD PUTS PRICE ON TENANT’S SOUL

Apparently begging the landlord not to put a price on their soul, saying ‘Dear Landlord’ about a thousand times and groveling, was not the answer for one Peoria resident, Ron M., whose landlord simply turned around and priced that soul. Ron has rented a studio apartment in Sir Lancelot Heights on Peoria’s south side since 2019.

‘My burden is heavy, my dreams beyond my control,’ the smitten tenant told this Gorko reporter, apparently because he was unaware of our 2-for-1 2-ingredient Tuesday special.

‘Twelve ninety-nine,’ we told Ron.

‘No,’ he replied, ‘five hundred ninety-nine.’

‘Oh, you mean the.’ Reluctantly the human commodity and rent bank Ron exchanging his own rapidly cooling pie for a handful of loose bills and coins.

He said, ‘Keep the change.’

Not about to argue, not about to move to some other place, there he is, ladies and gentleman, Ron M.

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

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