Do you know that according to a new study by Gorko Stats Unlimited it is almost certain that there are at least 10 things already in your house that at a moment’s notice, under the right circumstances, would happily scurry up your nose? Here are the top 3.
#3) SENTIENT MINI WAFFLES
Many homeowners, trusting to freezer space and long experience with normal-sized waffles (between 6.5 and 8 inches in diameter, according to Waffle Index USA statistics, or are you from Brussels), thoughtlessly purchase small, sentient waffles and toss them in their grocery cart like so much cottage cheese. Big mistake. Sentient mini waffles are the third most likely thing to find up your nose when you wake up in the morning.
#2) SPIDER-MAN
We all know that the average American swallows between 8 and 15 spiders in their lifetime while sleeping, but did you know that Spider-man likes to get in there, too? Open real wide!
#1) JESUS
That’s right, unbenownst to most residents of Peoria, churchgoing or otherwise, is that with any luck your personal Savior Jesus Christ is pretty liekly to climb into one of your nostrils tonight. So say your prayers!
Photo by Elizabeth Praetz on Unsplash
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