More than 30 local housecats were dismissed from housekeeping positions this past week in the greater Peoria area, with the majority of pet employers explaining that the fuzzy little beasts were not completing minimum requirements for housekeepers.
‘The dishes were stacking up in the sink, the laundry was unfolded and beds unmade, and the floors were an absolute mess,’ local pet employer Shirley Rufinbakker told The Gorko. ‘As much as I hate to see little Muffin go, she just was not holding up her side of the agreement.’
Peoria housecats that seek asylum in houses are required by state law to sign contracts that outline their housekeeping duties. Other chores specified by the standard Illinois housecat contract include taking out the trash and recyclables, sweeping and mopping the floors, dusting, mousing, and maintaining tubs and toilets sparkling clean.
The redundant housecats declined to comment for this article.