We have all seen this tree many times on our walk up the mountain, and would probably even identify it in a police lineup if we were called upon to do so, but beneath its rough exterior don’t we often wonder what its secret thoughts could be? Today The Gorko offers 3 extremely plausible answers.
WHY DON’T I HAVE FEET DAMMIT
Like any other deciduous hardwood, this pinus strobus is most likely wondering why it has been damned to spend its life rooted to one single spot on the mountain. Why is this tree not free to roam and cavort like the puma or wayward toddler? Why doomed to be always facing south-southwest, rain or shine, even on its birthday? Shucks.
GOSH I’M STUFFED
The tree is thinking, Man all of this sunny weather lately has been great for my disposition (often grim, downcast), but to be honest I am stuffed to the frickin gills with chlorophyl! If I so much as see another ray of sunlight I just might puke.
I AM GOING TO BUY A CHAINSAW
She hasn’t called, she hasn’t written. She probably doesn’t even know I exist. I might as well buy a chainsaw and cut myself down.
Remember boys and girls: Be nice to trees!
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