Hey look everyone, we wrote PEORIA FAMILY FORCED TO EVACUATE HOUSE and not a single person scribbled a mean note to The Gorko to complain that they assumed the family had probably shit bricks, quibbling on the alternate definition of evacuate: 7. to discharge through the excretory passages.
What do you know, we ALSO wrote CONTINUAL STORMFRONT RAINS ON FLAGWAVERS PARADE and no one called up the office to say you mean CONTINUOUS STORMFRONT ya ignoramuses!
Shucks n kittens, dear readers, if our plural of ANTENNA did not also slip out ANTENNAS in a recent issue, to which not a single Peoria housewife or house-band took exception! No one phoned and screeched into the receiver, IT’S ANTENNAE YA RANK AMATEURS.
And here is one more to take the pudding! We wrote THE MURDERED CITIZEN, WHO THE VAGRANT CLUBBED SEVENTY-THREE TIMES OVER THE HEAD AND NECK AREA and not a single school or library marm emailed us with the correction WHOM THE VAGRANT CLUBBED, WHOM WHOM WHOM, WHOM FOR OBJECTS NUMBSKULLS!
We got away with that one, too.
The affect of our recent blunders has not effected us in the least, because no one even bothered to point out the error of our weighs.
TGG
Photo by Good Good Good on Unsplash
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…
IS YOUR NAME RHYS? TAKE OUR FREE QUIZ TO FIND OUT
LIKE HOPSCOTCH FOR ADULTS: MY NEW ‘POLKAKRAUT FOR BEGINNERS’ CLASS IS ONLY COSTING ME 35 BUCKS A SESSION PLUS BYO CABBAGE
FROM THE AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL: ‘AMERICAN CHEESE GIRL’ by Dia VanGunten
‘Unfairness’ by Bruce Reisner
WHY SWITZERLAND IS THERE
The Gorko has been receiving a surprisingly large number of emails over the past several…