So Cory has arrived at your barbecue again and it looks like he is planning to stay. How can you graciously get the message across to him that you are no longer 10-year-old boys, but are in fact grown-ups with completely separate lives and nothing in common?
TELL CORY THE TRUTH
Tell Cory that you are no longer 10-year-old boys, but are in fact grown-ups with completely separate lives and nothing in common.
USE DECEPTION TO GET POOR CORY OUT OF YOUR LIFE
Shout, ‘Hey is that Spider-Man on the neighbors’ roof?’ and when Cory looks over his shoulder, make a run for the bathroom. Stay in the bathroom for the duration of the party.
FAKE-MURDER THE SON OF A GUN
Nothing tells a needy, clingy cousin that they are no longer your friend like literally fake-murdering them. Cory won’t be coming to no more backyard gatherings at this address, no siree, not after the fake Sicilians fake throat-cut Cory, throw the casserole table across the lawn, and take your non-friend but first cousin Cory out to fake sleep with the (fake) fishes.
Foto de Jed Villejo en Unsplash