If you were a pilgrim about to celebrate your first harvest in the New World and were presented by this fine orange pumpkin by the Pokanoket warrier Squanto, what would you do with it?
STICK IT DIRECTLY BACK INTO MOTHER EARTH
You have not plunged through gnarly seas and forbidden catechisms to land on an unscouted shore and die of hunger, Pilgrim. You plant that bad baby for hard times to come.
EAT IT RAW IN FRONT OF SQUANTO
Show no hesitation, Pilgrim: draw forth the pumpkin seeds with a firm hand and eat, or they shall never respect ye.
BAKE IT IN A RUDIMENTARY OVEN TIL SOFT, SCOOP OUT, THEN CREATE A SWEET DESSERT WITH IT USING OLD WORLD SPICES AND A PIE CRUST THAT MELTS IN SQUANTO’S MOUTH
Tell Squanto that you have a brilliant idea, to hold his horses, and then go create the world’s first pumpkin pie and astonish generations of Americans and be a hero for all time.
Photo by Marius Ciocirlan on Unsplash