I have called this little pow-wow gentlemen because I have had reports of some of the men sneaking pixies aboard the ship again. The anonymous complaint states that the pixies are generally snuck aboard in pantaloon pockets or seaman chests. There has even been one pixie observed flitting aboard unaccompanied, getting in through a larboard porthole, afterwards being detected by her shiny body in the company of Able Seaman Anderson, who has since been shall we say dropped into the middle of the Indian Ocean.
Gentlemen, let me take this opportunity to stress that we do not like pixies and will not tolerate their company aboard this ship. Do I need to remind you that the pixie is a mischeivous yet kind-hearted flying elf that is by its very nature opposed to our pirate trade, and besides absolutely useless when it comes to you know what.
The pixies we have had the misfortune to have on ship have spilled our goblets of wine, pulled on our beards and rastifarian hair, knocked over barrels of good powder, unslung ropes and sails, tripped up able seamen, and even put sleeping potions into the grog of unsuspecting helmsmen.
No, gentlemen, pixies shall not be tolerated aboard this ship, and any man surprised smuggling one aboard shall be marooned upon the very next desert island.
Thank you, that is all gentlemen. Please communicate my message to the men.