It is that time of the year again, with National Raisin Day looming like a dessicated turd, when the mind turns to raisins: what are they, and what is their purpose? Here are 3 of our best guesses.
RAISINS ARE FOR MAKING SNOWMEN WITH, TO GIVE THEM SIGHT
How could snowmen see without blackcurrant or raisin eyes? Some have used fact-acting prunes, but ewww those smudges in the front yard.
THE RAISIN DOES NOT EXIST
Concentrate, Grasshopper, and see inside the mind’s eye: there is no raisin, the raisin is a phenomenon, a mirage.
WE GIVE UP. ARE THEY FOR CHILDREN?
We remember that Billy Masterson loved to get raisins in his lunch bucket. Maybe raisins are just a kid thing?
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