‘To Seek a Wife’ by Professor Stout


Commentary by Tark Mackintosh

One poet Professor Stout’s most bitter nemesis in both creative and academic spheres in California and later Peoria, the feared and detested Dr. Algernon Quiverbottom of Poots upon Thames. Dr ‘Poots’, as he was known to his intimate circle, infamously declared, ‘If all that glitters is not gold it is not my poetry, Humphrey.’ He penned the voluptuously metered Books of Gold (14 volumes), and is rumored to have never died, but simply ‘gone walking’.

‘age of gold’ The Goldstrikers was the informal gentleman’s reading club that Dr. Poots led at University of Santa Barbara for most of the 1930s. A gentleman’s reading club is a discussion group that meets to discuss pornographic stag magazines. OR it is a club for enthusiasts of narrative fiction and poetry. Although the Goldstrikers were particularly keen on the words glitter, crumple, and fanny napkin, words that Professor Stout began shoehorning into all of his verse after his 1934 visit to the group, he was never invited back.

young and old Dr. Poots, always dashing in his cane and trendy waistcoats, was a good eight years younger than Professor Stout in 1934.

fortune…after life Truly fortunate a future in which one goes walking upon golden fleets of cloud, as Bee Gees upon the Isle of Man.

to seek a wife / Four years ago Once again the Americans flash their lack of culture, and by culture we mean BABES.

Isle of Man…bonnet…sonnet It had been pretty slim pickings on the courtship scene four years ago in California, when anything in a dress or lady’s hat could inspire impromptu poetry from the moaning gallery of pioneer bachelors.

Bonnet rhymes with sonnet.

The Isle of Man (or Mann — never Men) was claimed by Dr. Poots as the inspiration for his third volume of verse, Gold III: Where the Waxen Wind Whineth.

excite The poet’s language slips into the realm of the uncouth: the ragged, lascivious breathing of his pornography session with The Goldstrikers.

Isle of Men? The Bee Gees go walking on the Isle of Man in their glittery trousers